Over the years working in IT, I’ve heard some great excuses for being late or not being able to come into the office.

Here are my top 10:

Excuse #10 – The “I have a really good reason to be at home” Excuse

My wife is working from home, so I am working from home as well today.

Let your mind fill in the rest.

Excuse #9 – The “Wardrobe Malfunction” Excuse

The button on my pants popped off, so I had to sew another one on. Sorry about missing the 9:00 AM meeting.

Excuse #8 – A Variant of the “Bad Traffic” Excuse

I got stuck behind a cement truck, and then behind a school bus. Sorry for missing the 9:00 AM meeting.

Strangely, #8 and #9 were from the same person. Glad I don’t have his luck.

Excuse #7 – The “No Excuse Given” Excuse

In a reply to someone else’s “I’m Working From Home” email:

Ditto, I’m WFHing today as well.

No reason given. What do you say to that? Pretty ballsy.

Excuse #6 – The “Instantly Recoverable Stomach Flu” Excuse

I have a really bad stomach flu.

Oh yes, the dreaded stomach bug. What always amazes me is how quickly people seem to recover from those. In this case, the employee recovered so quickly that he was able to take his daughter to the Justin Bieber concert that night and post videos and pictures of it on Facebook.

Excuse #6 – The “Overly Graphic” Excuse

I have food poisoning, and it’s coming out of both ends.

Ah yes, the overly graphic excuse to make it “that much more believable”.

Excuse #5 – The “Monday Morning Blame-Shift” Excuse

I took my car in to get the brakes fixed on Saturday, and they need it another day.

Don’t feel guilty, it’s not your fault at all.

Excuse #4 – The “Car/Weather Combo” Excuse

Both me and my roommate’s car doors are completely frozen shut.

Not just car trouble, but wham! also the cold weather. No way to get out of that mess.

Excuse #3 – The “Flu/Domain Password Combo” Excuse

I woke up with the flu, also my domain password expired so I won’t be online today.

Just to make sure that no one expects any work out of me today.

Excuse #2 – The “Health Department Mandated” Excuse

My three year old tested positive for pertussis (whooping cough). The health department has quarantined everyone for at least 5 days.

No arguing with this one.

Excuse #1 – The “Darwin Award” Excuse

And the best excuse so far, drum roll………………….

So. As I was parallel parking last night I backed into
a tree branch and shattered the rear windshield of my car. Anywho, I’ll be working from home today.

I know there are more and far better than these, please leave a comment if you have any good ones.